Idol Wrap Up 2/24/10

The Boys:

 Ok, so I was very disappointed in the girls the other night and was hoping for a little bit more from the boys. Well, I think maybe that’s what I got – a little bit more. I keep hearing that this is the best group ever, but I haven’t heard the evidence. Another area of concern is my sweet tooth. As many of you know, I tend to enjoy a little boy candy to nibble on throughout the season. Should one of the young fellows catch my eye, I just like to invest a little extra time following his progress, or as my court appointed attorney likes to call it: “stalking and felonious trespassing.” Whatever, no need to worry so far because I haven’t seen anyone worth violating my parole for.  Yes I know that Kara has been drooling over Casey James, but he’s not my type. I don’t go for the lanky, long-haired look. And he reminds me too much of Bucky Covington (although Casey is much better looking). Sadly, I will likely find myself fast forwarding through the singers in hopes of catching one of those Old Spice commercials. Oh well. Maybe someone will surprise me tonight. Side note: For ONCE, Simon is not wearing his itchy looking gray/black sweater – THANK YOU. But look again…now Ellen is wearing it! They are doing this to torment me. I know it.

Let’s get right to it…

Todrick Hall: Todrick sang “Since You’ve Been Gone,” and it was a little weird. He has a nice voice, but the whole thing didn’t really work. And why is he wearing a whistle? Is that one of those “alarm” whistles you start blowing when you feel threatened? What did David Cook tell you, Todrick? That was a long time ago, and I don’t even like you anyway. You’re no Old Spice guy. Anyway, Ellen said he’s a great performer. Randy said the song was unrecognizable. Kara liked that he took a risk, but said he needs to pull it back. Simon said he murdered the original song, and it was verging on stupid. Bottom line: Probably good enough to be safe, but keep that whistle handy in case you need to hail a cab.

Aaron Kelly: Aw shucks, gosh golly. It’s David Archuletta 2: Revenge of the Beave. Could this kid be more wholesome? I think he’s adorable, but in the “Beaver Cleaver” kind of way, not the “let’s go down to the station and register” kind of way. He looks exactly like the kid who showed up at my door last summer and asked if he could mow my lawn. Anyway, Aaron sang “Here Comes Goodbye” and sounded good – he’s got that pure voice (again, like David Archuletta). Simon said it was quite good, but he needed confidence. Kara pretty much agreed, as did Randy, and ditto for Ellen. Bottom line: He should easily stroll into the next round, followed by rainbows and adorable woodland creatures.

Jermaine Sellers: Jermaine sang “Get Here,” which started off so quietly that I actually had to turn up my volume, then got so shrill that I had to mute my TV and make up a word: squealish. I think he swallowed Todrick’s whistle. Yeesh. Ellen said he was trying too hard. Randy said he was trying to do too much vocally. Kara said it felt old. Simon said it was over the top, and he’s “blown it,” but I don’t know if he meant the opportunity, or the whistle, or maybe both. Bottom line: You know what else whistles? A train when it’s pulling into the station, and I think you may have a ticket, Jermaine.   

Tim Urban: Tim was the rejectee that was brought back when someone else turned out to be ineligible. His song choice is “Apologize,” and that is exactly what he should do – apologize. It was bad. Jermaine should send him a fruit basket or something to thank him, because suddenly Jermaine’s performance is looking pretty good. No need for me to destroy him further, Simon took care of that. The good news is that he looks like every male character on every stupid Disney Channel show my kids watch, and could probably make a fine living in the touring company of High School Musical. Bottom line: Apology accepted, but please go home now.

Joe Munoz: Joe sang “You and I Both,” I thought it was just okay.  Ellen said he was comfortable on the stage. Randy thought he did a good job. Kara thought his singing was the best so far. Simon thought it was safe and forgettable. Yep, I agree. Bottom line: He’s might be safe for this cut, but seriously, we’ve got to kick it up a notch.

Tyler Grady: Oh Tyler. Is it me or does he look like he stepped directly out of an episode of Scooby Doo? He seriously looks like a cartoon character to me. Anyway, he sang “American Woman” and although they keep comparing him to Jim Morrison, I’m getting more of a Leif Garrett vibe. I thought the vocal was actually pretty weak. Simon said it feels like he’s pretending to be a rock star. Ditto for Kara. Randy said it was style over substance. Ellen said he was going through the motions, but lacked the charisma. Yep. I think his whole trippy routine is going to get old. Bottom line: I think he’ll get through this round, but there’s a good chance he’ll be back on the Mystery Machine soon.

Lee Dewyze: Lee sang “Chasing Cars.” Good style of song for him, I think. Ellen thought it got a little too pushed. Randy didn’t like the song choice. Kara agreed with Randy. Simon thought it was the best performance of the night. Bottom line: I like Lee. I think he’ll stick around, at least for now.

John Park: Speaking of stalkers and rape whistles…John’s intro video reminds us of his original audition where Shania Twain practically threw a saddle on him and rode him back to her room. Really, Shania. What kind of grown woman fawns over some much younger American Idol contestant? I can’t imagine. Anyway, John sang “God Bless the Child,” which is an old jazz classic, and a very odd choice. He sang it sort of okay-ish, but it just wasn’t working. Simon said he didn’t have the voice for that song. Kara doesn’t know what his lane is. Randy and Ellen agree that the song choice was wrong. And on top of that, no one seems to see whatever it was that sent Ms. Twain’s ovaries into spasm. Myself included.  Bottom line: I hope Shania Twain has multiple phone lines and speed dialing capability. You’re going to need those extra votes.

Michael Lynche: I like “Big Mike,” but I’m kind of over him already. The whole Hollywood week baby thing was total overkill, and frankly I’m just sick of hearing about it. So Mike sang “This Love” and did a respectable job, but I didn’t think it was anything special at all. I can see that any Friday night at a local bar. Ellen loved his personality. Randy agreed. Kara didn’t think it was outrageously great. Simon said he delivered so little, and there was nothing unique. Bottom line: Nice guy, talented enough, and will probably get through this round, but seriously disappointing.

 Alex Lambert: Alex sang “Wonderful World,” which started shaky, but got slightly better. He looked very awkward on stage. Simon said it was uncomfortable. Kara wanted to give him a hug.  Randy said he has a great tone. Then, oddly enough, Ellen said something Paula-like: “I love bananas. And sometimes a banana is just not quite ripe and you’re like ‘oh I wish it was riper’ because I’d like to eat that banana right now, but it’s just not ripe enough.”  Ok, so it’s not exactly like something Paula would have said. If Paula were saying it then the banana would somehow be in outer space, but it’s still a kooky thing to say. Ellen also likes the fact that he’s holding onto the mullet. I am going to have to strongly disagree with Ellen here. That is absolutely NOT a “mullet.” That, my friend, is a “flip” as made popular by such ‘70’s television mom icons such as Shirley Partridge and Carole Brady. Bottom line: If “The Brady Bunch” is still around in re-runs, I see no reason why you shouldn’t be back next week.

Casey James: Alright, here’s the heart throb. Casey sang “Heaven” and did a nice job. He actually does have a nice voice, and should be given extra credit for making it through the song without being too distracted by Kara’s leering and writhing. The reviews were good, despite the nonsense happening at the judges’ table. Bottom line: See you next week.

Andrew Garcia: Andrew sang “Sugar we’re going down” and he was my favorite of the night. Simon was disappointed. He wanted to see something more like what he did with “Straight Up.” Kara agreed with Simon. Randy agreed with Simon and Kara. And Ellen agreed with Simon, Kara, and Randy. I DISAGREED with all of the above. I think he’s a natural. Effortless. Yes I loved his version of “Straight Up,” but I thought this was great, too. Love his voice. Bottom line: Yes, yes, yes! He should whistle on through.

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