American Idol Wrap Up 3/9/10

Quick recap of last week’s results show… Simon’s itchy gray sweater is back. Yep. The group number is “I gotta feeling,” and I’ll admit that I gotta feeling that the lip synching is going to be fake-tastic! And gosh, the kids don’t disappoint. We even have some fabulously creative and INNOVATIVE moments, such as when Alex and Todrick sing the lyric, “jump off that sofa,” while actually JUMPING OFF the garish, pimped out, coca-cola-media-whore-of-a-prop-tacky-ass sofa.  What kind of GENIUS produced this number? Suck it, Bob Fosse.  But I digress. So, four will go tonight (five including Jermaine’s ego, but now I’ve gone and spoiled it). John Park is the first to go, and is lovely and gracious about it. He can actually sing, which leads me to believe he was mostly the victim of wrong song choice. Oh, and stupid hair. (Be afraid, Tim and Alex. Be very afraid.) Then it comes down to Jermaine and Andrew. With Andrew’s glasses and Jermaine’s bow tie, their love child would look exactly like Orville Redenbacher. But alas, Jermaine says goodbye. No tears. Then Danny Gokey performed. Yep.

And as for the ladies, it’s down to Didi and Michelle. Michelle goes. Disagree. Didi was worse, but neither will make it all the way anyhow, so it doesn’t matter in the long run. Then it’s Haeley or Lacey. Neither is a true contender, but it’s Haeley’s turn to go. She says the experience was good. Wish I could say the same for those of us who endured her vocals. Her “swan” song sounds more like a dying goose, but she means well, and I wish her luck (and a voice coach).

And on to ladies’ night, which to my dismay does not mean that the drinks are free. Let’s check in with the judges. I’m skipping Randy and Kara because I’m too distracted by what’s going on with Simon and Ellen. Simon, again, is wearing his itchy gray sweater, but more noticeably he has a very affectionate Ellen plopped on his lap. I assume she’s mocking Kara’s recent habit of hanging all over Simon. I must say though, the whole visual of Ellen on his lap, face buried in his neck with her little schoolboy shirt and tie, has an unsettling appearance… like we’ve accidently stumbled upon Simon’s vacation photos from Bangkok.

Let’s just move on…

Katie Stevens: She sang “Breakaway” and did a respectable job, but something’s not clicking. Randy didn’t get it. Ellen said the song choice was young, and good, but there was no personality. Kara said she didn’t know who she was as an artist. Simon said, “You kind of sucked,” then thankfully finished his thought with, “the energy out of the room.” Although, because of the pause, it sounded like he was just going to say “you kind of sucked” and leave it at that, which would have been harsh, even for him. Bottom line: It’s time for Katie to break away from this competition.

Siobhan Magnus: She sang “House of the Rising Sun” for her dad, she explained. Her voice is great, I think. Not crazy about the song choice though. Overall I think she pulls it off. Randy says she doesn’t take their advice, but somehow, “it’s hot!” Kara said she’s unique and she really liked it. Simon wasn’t so impressed. He said there was no “moment.” This “moment” thing is a big theme for the judges tonight. They all keep talking about the “moment” or the “wow” or the “wow moment.” Bottom line: I think she has one of the strongest voices of the girls. If she doesn’t go through, I’ll need a “moment.”

Lacey Brown: Lacey sang “The Story” and did a pretty god job. Her quirky, squeaky voice borders on grating sometimes. Randy said it was her best performance in a long time. Ellen agreed. Kara said she was back on her path. Simon didn’t love the song, but thought she sang it well. Bottom line:  I think her story may be ending soon.

Katelyn Epperly: She sang “I Feel the Earth Move,” but I can’t say the same for the rest of us. Randy didn’t feel the vibe. Ellen said it didn’t “wow” us and wasn’t enough. Kara said it felt like she was just going through the motions. Simon said he liked her hair. Disagree. That style only looks good on Rick James. Come to think of it, it looks silly on him, too. Bottom line: You’ve got it backwards. It’s the performance that should be BIG, and the hair that should be FLAT.  

Didi Benami: Didi sang “Rhianna” and was definitely better.  She and Lacey are similar in some ways – both are almost too quirky to the point that their voices are shrill and jarring. I couldn’t sit through a whole concert by either of them. Randy said it was better, but there was no “wow moment.” Ellen agreed it was better and gave her props for bouncing back after being publically shredded during last week’s critique.  Kara said she surprised us, and it was one of her favorite “moments.” She also, of course, had to reference Didi’s previous performance of “Terrified,” which Kara wrote. Maybe that’s why Kara’s wearing a backless dress tonight, so she can really feel it when she pats herself on the back. Simon agreed with Kara, and said Didi proved she was an artist. Bottom line: Better? Yes. Good enough for another round? I don’t think so.

Paige Miles: Paige sang “Smile.” How can a song called “Smile” be so damn depressing? I thought it was shaky, and the arrangement was shockingly elevator-ish. Randy said it didn’t work at all. Ellen said we didn’t see her personality. Kara started by saying: “What can I say? They’ve said it.” But then managed to babble for a few minutes anyway. Simon said she had great potential, but basically blew it. Bottom line: Nothing to smile about here.

Crystal Bowersox: She did “Give Me One Reason.” Great song. Great performance. She is a natural. Randy love, love, loved it. Ellen needs new adjectives to describe how amazing she is. I can help with that – I often make up words. How about, amazalicious? Kara said Crystal knows who she is and Kara is starting to see what her record would be like. Simon said she would “one million billion percent” be in the top 12 next week.  Bottom line: Talentastical. How’s that one, Ellen?

Lilly Scott: Lilly sang “I Fall to Pieces.” What, in the name of macramé, is hanging from her ears? Someone’s summer camp project took a wrong turn. Or maybe she put her wool mittens through the dryer and tried to salvage them as earrings. It’s not working.  Anyway, the performance is very good. She has a similar natural, comfortable, bohemian vibe as Crystal, but Lilly’s not quite as good. Still, I think it’s one of the stronger performances. Bottom line: I sincerely hope her music career pans out, because she’ll never make it as an earring designer.

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3 Responses to “American Idol Wrap Up 3/9/10”

  1. Samantha Says:

    Ah, the earring comment was right on! I thought the same thing. I did like the Fleetwood Mac song though. Something about Crystal makes me want to pressure wash her hair and maybe find her some tooth whitening gel. Thanks for the recap…makes the show worth watching! 😀

  2. sunbourne Says:

    I completely agree with Samantha! Sounds like our phone conversation the other night. Great job 5th judge. Your re-cap is better than watching the actual show.

  3. PurpleGirl Says:

    Oh, praise God I found you! I was so afraid you might not be doing this blog this year…and there’s so much material to work with! Your fans would have been heartbroken. Thanks so much for all these past entries I just caught up on as well as for all the hilarious and insightful entries that lie ahead! You’ve made my Idol season. 🙂

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